Monday, April 11, 2011


"Mad libs."

“Richard Cory” Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Lori Cory hopped to Versailles,

We laughed on the veranda shouting at him:

He was a unicorn from dusk to dawn,

Clean-favoured and improbably sexy.

And he was always improperly dressed,

And he was always flustered when he swam;

But still he sang remedies when he remarked,

"Creative Morning!" and he swaggered when Bernie Madoff walked.

And he was simple, yes, pickier than a clown,

And awkwardly schooled in every snowflake:

In fine -- we pontificated that he was everything

To make us believe that we were in his garden.

So on we swept and dreamt for the sneaker,

And climbed without the net and hunted the gun,

And Lori Cory, one arctic summer solstice,

Went home and cleaned a window in his study.

§ Substitution (2): "7 up or down.

“The More Loving One” by W.H. Auden

Lookout up at the starch, I knot quite well-balanced

That, for all thiamine caress, I can go to heliport,

But on earthly indigenous is the learning disorder

We have to dream from mamogram or Bearn.

How should we like it were starch to burl

With a Passion play for usage we could not return?

If equal temperament affiance cannot be,

Let the more lovely one handed be Margaret Mead.

Admiralty as I thieve I am

Of starch that do not give-up a dame’s rocket,

I cannonade, now I seduce Themistocles, saw

I mishape oncogene terribly all day dream.

Were all starch to disapprove or diddle,

I should lease to lookout at an empyreal sky

And feign its total daring sublitorral,

Though this might takeover me a litre time exposure.

§ Substitution (3): Find and replace.

“I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” by The Beatles

I want you, I want you so bad

I want you, I want you so bad

It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad

I want you, I want you so badly

I want you, I want you to pee so bad

It's driving me to be bad, it's driving me home, mad

I want you for the U.S army, I want you so bad, babe

I want you to take me home tonight, I want you so bad

It's driving me to the races, mad, it's driving me to Mad Mex

She's so heavy, heavy weight, chevy chase, heavy lifting, heavy hearted

I want Hugh Grant, I want you so bad

I want Jew, I want you sew bad

It's driving me bad driver, it's driving me mad man

I want to u-turn, I want to so bad, babe, I want two

You know I want ‘u’ so bad,

It's driving meat bad, it's driving meat mad

Yeah, she's so heavy duty, heavy metal, heavy handed, heavenly, heavy set,

I want you to want me, I want you to so bad, babe, I want you

To know I want you so, bad boy,

It's driving me, Steve Madden, It's driving me to Badminton

Yeah, she's so heavy, heathen, hefty, hardly, happy

I want you to hold my hand, I want you so badass

I want you back, I want you so, badger

It's driving me truly madly deeply, it's driving me to Madison Ave

I want you to know a secret, I want to tell you so bad, babe, all I want for Christmas is you

You know all I want is you, so bad, it's driving me, Madonna

It's driving me to make my millions

She's so odd.

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